Identity Crisis

Who I used to be and who I want to be are 2 completely defined people. It is this person in the middle that is losing me.

Casey Fox: Who I used to be

I was a student at UGA working on my bachelors in psychology and minor in child and family development. I knitted. I babysat. I worked at Ramsey, the student gym. I taught knitting. I was a student who lived on coffee and anywhere from 4-7 hours of sleep a night. I had friends. I loved my church home. I was a very busy and sometimes overwhelmed person, but I loved the pace and relished in the exhaustion.

Kristina Tucker: Who I want to be

This person has her masters in Christian Counseling. She's professional and grown-up. She counsels and helps young women with everything from addiction to boundary problems to healing in any arena of life. She is a happy and loving wife. She probably has a child or a few and hopefully some are adopted. She works. She crafts. She serves. She loves. She is busy- probably an overwhelmed sort of busy, but she enjoys life very much.

Its this who I am now that I just can't figure out. I'm between work and school actively waiting on a job. I'm a wife, but definitely learning those ropes. I drink lots of coffee, but now just because I love it, not because I need it. I knit. I sew. I cook and bake. I am nothing if not domestic. I live in this tiny town where there are no young people anywhere. I workout everyday to give myself something to do as well as to burn off the bajillion calories I consume in different types of batters (cake, cookie, bread, you name it.) I go to church. I shop minimally. I read. I watch HGTV. Yes it all sounds great, but I am completely missing any fulfillment.

I question if I am trying to find my fulfillment in the wrong places. I feel like I should be completely fulfilled in the Lord. I have my time with the God in the mornings. I read my bible. I pray. I go to church, and I love worship just as much as ever. I just am missing the fulfillment somewhere. I'm missing the busyness. I am missing conversation with friends. I am missing knowing and being happy with who I am. I feel below mediocre and stir crazy.

I think others sense how I don't know who I am too. I typically introduce myself as Kristina. I feel like Casey Tucker is beyond redneck. Believe me when I say that there is plenty of redneck here in this town without me. However, Zack introduces me as Casey. Therefore, in church I am sure there are all sorts of people completely confused about who I am. "Is she Kristina or is she Casey? Her last name is Tucker- that Zack Tucker is her husband. At least he seems stable and normal." Nothing like seeming like a liar in church. Oh and then there is the signing my name. I always signed "Kristina Fox" because that is who I was legally. These days I am legally "Kristina Tucker" The lesson I learned: pay attention when you sign your last name. You don't want to curse out the nice cashier.

Oh, identity crisis. I'll figure this out. Let's please let it be sooner rather than later. Until then, I'm going to go bake a banana pudding pie and then go work out.

Saying "I Do" as Creatively as I Could

On December 10th I married the love of my life. With that has come a move, lots and lots of changes, and quite a new/different version of Casey. I am determined that there will be many posts about that in the future though. For now, I want to share the things I did for my wedding to make it uniquely us.

My own Hair and Makeup

After debate (internal to me and external as well) I decided to do my own hair and makeup. This turned out to be perfect. I went to the Mac makeup counter at the mall and had them help with what colors would look good on me and they showed me how to properly apply it. After that, I practiced a day on my own to make sure that I could re-create the look. I was comfortable there, so I did it myself the day of. As for my hair- it is a curly mess. In my 21 years with it, I have figured out how to tame it and keep it under control. There was a hairdresser who tried to talk me into having it professionally done, but I knew I was most comfortable doing it myself, so that is what I stuck with.

Seeing One Another before the Ceremony

I come from a HUGE family, divorced parents, lots of grandparents, etc. I knew that there were family shots that we would want to have, and we really didn't want people to have to wait for us at the reception. Because of this, Zack and I decided to see one another before the wedding. This picture was when I finally made it down the aisle and into his arms. This was a very special moment for the two of us. It gave us a time to quietly and privately come before God and pray and dedicate "our day" to Him. No questions about it- I am so glad we broke the whole the-groom-shouldn't-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding superstition.

This is that huge family I was talking about!

We grabbed this shot after the ceremony. We had everyone,that means all extended family on both sides, stay for a big group shot. It was a little bit difficult, but I love the shot in the end!

Of course I brought my knitting with me for the down-time. I was so glad to have a minute to relax in the way that I know best :)

The Wedding Party after the Ceremony

We had the best wedding party ever. Made up of close friends and siblings, I could not have asked for more special people to share our day with us.

Sign Our Quilt

This is sure to be a blog post in the future, but I did make a guest quilt in addition to our traditional guestbook. This was in the entryway as everyone entered for the reception.

Coffee Bar

I am a coffee's number one fan. It is how I made it through the 6 months between our engagement and the wedding. It is definitely not a good habit of mine, but I love it so much. It turns a tired, groggy Casey into the extroverted, crazy, fast-talking gal that I am. Therefore, it was only fitting that we had a coffee bar at the wedding :)

Centerpieces

3 different glass bottles spray painted white, a single (wholesale bought) red rose placed in each vase, borrowed mirrors and greenery selected from friend's yards... all together for total cost about $100 for 20 tables! That is about $5 a table. I absolutely love the way they turned out!

However, I don't want to look at goo-be-gone or white spray paint for a very long time.

First Dance

For our first dance as husband and wife, Zack and I danced to "I Love" but Tom T. Hall. Neither one of us are big dancers, and I honestly dislike dancing. Dancing with my husband on a quiet night not in front of tons of people is fine. Dancing as a focal point of the reception was horrifying to me. However, for whatever reason, I felt like this was something that we had to do, so we did it our way. We picked a funny song, practiced a time or two and planned this dip for the end. Also, the cowboy boots- not originally planned for the day, but as the wedding day was approaching, I realized that I had not broken in my shoes nearly enough. I wore my nicer shoes during the wedding, but by the end of the ceremony my feet were throbbing. I changed into my boots and was so much more comfortable. I am so glad that I changed into them. I'm sure they became a memory for my guests and I was just so glad to be comfortable.

The Wedding Favors: Recipe Cards

I LOVE to cook. And, well, I like to eat for that matter too. It took a while to stumble upon this idea and then to type them up and finalize them. However, thanks to Google Images, Microsoft Publisher, and free downloadable fonts, these babies were created in only a few hours. Finished up with some raffia and candy canes the final cost for these was only $40 total. Affordable, one-of-a-kind, and very appreciated by the guests. My favorite part is hearing back from people saying that they tried one of the recipes and that they loved it!

The Wedding Shawl

I went back and forth on knitting a wedding shawl for myself for the wedding. With 6 months for knitting and not loving lacework, I just didn't know that it was a great idea. However, after some encouragement from a friend, I went for it, and I am so glad. I love everything about my shawl. I wore an elbow-length veil for the ceremony, but I knew that I did not want to leave it on for the reception. However, I hate my arms. Yes, what a womanly, low self-esteem thing to say. But whatever. I loved having my shawl for a little more coverage. And really, what a precious heirloom.



For those of you who are not UGA Dawg fans, the Georgia chant or call of the dawgs is "Go Dawgs! Sic 'em! Woof, woof, woof!" As we were walking out of the reception, we were surprised by our friends chanting a rousing rendition yelling "Go Tuckers! Get Some! Woof, woof woof!" While slightly embarrassing and insinuating a little much for good classy taste, it was such a funny surprise and the perfect way to walk out to our mini honey-moon :)

The Truck

Zack and I chose to leave in his truck. We are pretty informal people and we just knew that getting a limo wasn't our style. That being said, I was not leaving in his dirty truck. I told him to get the truck professionally cleaned and we would leave in our style. His wonderful friends decorated it, and this candid shot happened. I love it!

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed the little things that made our wedding so special to me!

All photographs were taken by Mark Parsons. He was truly wonderful through the entire event, captured so many amazing pictures, and just truly did an amazing job. I would recommend him to anyone looking for a wedding photographer! http://www.markparsonsphotography.com/

Oh Athens.

Its funny how such a seemingly small decision can change so much.

On a cold January day, I walked into the local knitting shop. Situated in a cozy red barn out in Watkinsville about 15 minutes from the UGA campus, I have no idea why it took so long to become a solace for me. I would venture in two or three times a year for a splurge I couldn’t afford. An hour later I would wander out feeling anything but thrifty, yet still exceptionally happy. Being a natural fiber snob did not fit into my college budget, and I was perfectly content with my acryl-ick. However, one January day I was feeling bold. I wandered in on a mission. I wanted to teach knitting. I had the skills. I knew I had the ability to teach. I loved all things knitting. I knew I could do it as long as the shop could give me the chance.

I wandered in Main Street Yarns and shopped for a while. Really, I was just working up some courage. I purchased my one skein of Sublime Cashmere Merino Silk and gave my spiel. “I’m a student over at UGA. I want to teach knitting. I have been knitting for 6 years and simply love it. I started and currently run the UGA knitting club, and I just want another way to share my love of the craft.” I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

A few weeks later, I met Lilah, the instructor who I was ‘replacing’ for lack of a better term. In reality, I could never in one million trillion years replace Lilah in any way shape or form. But that is beside the point. I trained and taught with Lilah in a completely booked knitting 101, and I loved every single second of it. I knew I could be good at this. I knew I could bring in money doing something that I loved.

Never did I imagine that I would be teaching knitting classes twice a week. Never did I think that I would be working the floor at a local knitting shop, talking to people about yarns and fibers. Never did I think that I would walk into SAFF and swoon over giant fluffy angora bunnies just because of their fur. Never did I think that I would have such ties established just because of a job, because of a knitting shop.

I am leaving Athens in a month and a half. I am so incredibly excited for the next part of my life: being the wife of Zack Tucker; I’ve found the person whom my soul loves(thanks for the wording, Song of Solomon) However, tears fill my eyes when I think about leaving Athens.

Athens is more than my college town. Sure, I’ve gone to school here, but it is so much more than that. I have my friends from classes and job on campus. I started the UGA Knitwits and love having a life on campus beyond just academics. I will leave UGA with lots of friends, my degree, and a decent GPA. But Athens has become so much more than that. I have a church family made up of friends my age as well as local families- they are all family away from my real family. I have my knitting community- people that I have had in classes, people that are simply acquaintances at Main Street, people who inspire and motivate me. And then I have Grace and Finn, two kids I babysit weekly, kids of the fabulous Lilah actually, kids that have come to mean so much to me. Grace and her spunk and independence and Finn with his climbing everything. I never imagined that walking into Main Street would lead strong ties to Athens. I just liked knitting and yarn.

However, now I am moving over an hour away in a month and a half. I have been blessed with such amazing friendships and families here. I have been touched by so many and learned so much. I’ve never really had to say goodbye to a home. I moved away from home when I came to school, but I always have a place to return- my parents are there, my family is there, I can go anytime I want. But Athens has become a home, and saying goodbye is going to plain suck. But on the positive side, I am going to make the most of the next month and a half. I am going to enjoy my teaching at Main Street and spend my paychecks on wonderful, natural yarn. I am going to snuggle with Grace and Finn and make sure I get all the loud giggles and smiles I can. I am going to enjoy each worship service at Beech Haven and Sunday school class I have left. And I am sure to take you up on a coffee or meal at any local coffee house or restaurant at any chance I get.

Wait, an update?

I used to be so good with blogging semi-regularly and now I really have no idea what happened. It’s not like I haven’t had anything to write about. I have been up to all sorts of fibery goodness recently—I just haven’t been updating.

So what have I been up to? Well, I jumped off the selling stuff ship since winter. Short story: knitting shouldn’t be stressful, and it shouldn’t be a race. Ironically, I’ve only been knitting more. I am feeling more inspired and more adventurous. The pressure is taken off and now I am just knitting for myself and those that I really love.

I’ve never really considered myself an adventurous knitter. I might have been adventurous when I first started knitting. However, at some point I became comfortable and stopped learning and trying out new techniques or project types or anything. Recently, I’ve come to believe that my creativity and inspiration are linked to how much appreciation I have for the recipient of my knitting. I’ve found that I only want to knit with the nicest yarns and knit up the prettiest things, all just so I can keep them. Hence the Ishbel shawl knitted out of bamboo silk pictured in this post.

For a long time, I was anything but selfish. Knitting included, I rarely did anything for myself. Well, for some reason, all that has changed in the past few months. I have been pouring into myself and spoiling myself like never before! Maybe it’s my age? Maybe it’s my stage in life? Who knows? And don’t get me wrong, I am not selfish in the normal college sense. I am not paying my whims and desires so much attention that I have no regard for anyone else… I just have found a way to spoil myself with peace. Coffee, knitting, quiet time. It is just all so good.

Okay so my blogging habits are poor at best, but maybe now that I’ve come clean on my inspiration and previous lack thereof, I will update more often again. Not that anyone cares, but it’s a nice hobby and a good way to take some time out for myself and do a little reflection. Maybe too since this is no longer linked with a business, I will get a little more transparent. That being said I am going to end with a verse that I’m striving to live out. Given that foray on selfishness, it’s important to remember that’s not what I’m created for…

Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.”

Making Some Tangible Progress

Life is awesome! I am finally up and running on etsy! I have 4 things posted, and I could not be more thrilled.

On Friday I met up with a friend, Tori, and took pictures so that I could post some things on etsy.. Tori and I met through my wonderful brother, Travis (she is his girlfriend.) So, a week-ish ago I posted a status on facebook saying I needed a model and a better camera (see my last update.) She was one of the people that responded saying that she would like to help out. Well, I was naturally thrilled (she is gorgeous and simply a really fun person to be around.) I knew that she would look great in my things, and that it would be a blast to get out and take some pictures with her. So on Friday she came over to my apartment and we walked down by the lake and took some pictures. I have them posted on etsy and facebook, and the top of this post. It is awesome how kind and willing people can be, and she was just such an amazing help in the etsy process.

So yes, stuff is posted on etsy! Check it out at www.creationsbykc.etsy.com

Thanks to another great friend, Ruth, for telling about an opportunity in Athens this Sunday. It is a sustainability event that is hosted by a couple in Oconee County. Ruth will have some of her wonderful paintings and I will have some of my recycled bag bags and a scarf or two made from yarn I recycled from sweaters. It’s a somewhat political event, but I am going to steer clear of that aspect of things…However, I am all for sustainability, and look forward to seeing how other people are talking steps to help the environment. I also look really forward to getting my name out there and possibly selling a thing or two.

Check Ruth out here: http://www.facebook.com/100tinybluebirds (Check out her photo albums—she has some stunning paintings)

Check out information about the event here: Oconee County, GA Politics: A second Sustainability Showcase sponsored by Ocon...: "The Priests house is in the narrow area of an Athens mailing address in Oconee County, this near the newer shopping centers near the border ..."

And finally, one more shout-out goes to Holly Hess for featuring me on her blog. We met up last Thursday and she took some pictures of me for a photojournalism project. You can see some of those and read more about it on her blog: http://hollyshess.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/uga-knitwhits/#comments

Okay, well now I need to go recycle some yarn from a sweater. Thanks for reading!

Fall Festivals, Football, and Frustrations

I think I have reached a point in my life where I am actually doing too much. I know that college is supposed to be this way, but I don’t think my body was made for it. I miss relaxing. One day. And until that day, Coffee!

Knitting has been going well. Oktoberfest wasn’t a huge success, but it was a great learning experience, and I did sell some things. I think the greatest lesson I learned is that people are not ready for knit garments in the beginning of October. That figures! I guess maybe the common sense things are easily overlooked. Another lesson: while a fall festival can be a great time to have a craft sale, it is difficult to have tons of success when the craft sale is the only thing inside. And the last lesson: knit for the market! In other words, who are the people shopping in a lovely fall Saturday at a church fall festival? Probably not trendy, slouchy-hat-wearing college students. Hey, at least I learned some things and had some thoughts before the next one.

So this Saturday is the Watkinsville Fall Festival. There are all things that a usual fall festival would have as well as a craft sale of over 200 vendors. I can’t wait to go and see the different vendors… to go and get to shop and see what people have for sale and to see prices and just being outside on a lovely Fall day! The problem: Football game at 12:00. Football, could you BE more in the MIDDLE of the day? Ugh. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for football. However, I am not very happy that it is taking up my ENTIRE Saturday. Again. These 12:00 games have got to stop. The fair starts at 9:00 and goes to 6:00… and to get a good seat at the game I need to be at the stadium by 10:00. The game will last for lots of hours. Then I leave, make the trek back to the car, and battle traffic. Yes, it is definitely do-able to make it to both, but hooray for another hectic Saturday. Whatever the case, I am excited for a good Saturday.

And for the frustrations.. I need a better camera and a model/another person. No really, see the evidence. Until this happens, I will not be ready to compete. Thankfully, I have some great friends who have offered to help out, so something will get up there sometime soon. However, I know that if I plan on getting anywhere with selling on Etsy that I am going to need to buy a better camera. Time will tell. But to any really, really good friends/family who are reading this, I need a good camera for Christmas. Oh and a trip to Wizarding World would be great too…

Well, I need to go bet back on top of my ever looming pile of work. Thanks for reading!

Business Cards

As the time for selling things gets closer, every bit of my spare time is filled with knitting random projects. I have made quite a few scarves, washcloths, electronic cozies, and little things so far... I have so many ideas but not nearly enough time.

I went to Mainstreet Yarns and Fibers in Watkinsville last week and bought a few skeins of Ella Rae Classic. I made a bag out of this yarn for one of my sisters last year. It was the first yarn that I every felted, but I loved how it turned out. So when I was thinking about making a few felting things for the craft show, this yarn immediately came to mind. So this afternoon I spent some time felting some of that, and then hopefully that will turn into something interesting later this week.

So I will leave you a picture of my new business cards. Yes, that is an etsy site on there, but I have nothing posted for sale YET. It will definitely be updated with some things asap.

Okay, well off to study developmental psych and do other random homework. Thanks for reading!