Identity Crisis

Who I used to be and who I want to be are 2 completely defined people. It is this person in the middle that is losing me.

Casey Fox: Who I used to be

I was a student at UGA working on my bachelors in psychology and minor in child and family development. I knitted. I babysat. I worked at Ramsey, the student gym. I taught knitting. I was a student who lived on coffee and anywhere from 4-7 hours of sleep a night. I had friends. I loved my church home. I was a very busy and sometimes overwhelmed person, but I loved the pace and relished in the exhaustion.

Kristina Tucker: Who I want to be

This person has her masters in Christian Counseling. She's professional and grown-up. She counsels and helps young women with everything from addiction to boundary problems to healing in any arena of life. She is a happy and loving wife. She probably has a child or a few and hopefully some are adopted. She works. She crafts. She serves. She loves. She is busy- probably an overwhelmed sort of busy, but she enjoys life very much.

Its this who I am now that I just can't figure out. I'm between work and school actively waiting on a job. I'm a wife, but definitely learning those ropes. I drink lots of coffee, but now just because I love it, not because I need it. I knit. I sew. I cook and bake. I am nothing if not domestic. I live in this tiny town where there are no young people anywhere. I workout everyday to give myself something to do as well as to burn off the bajillion calories I consume in different types of batters (cake, cookie, bread, you name it.) I go to church. I shop minimally. I read. I watch HGTV. Yes it all sounds great, but I am completely missing any fulfillment.

I question if I am trying to find my fulfillment in the wrong places. I feel like I should be completely fulfilled in the Lord. I have my time with the God in the mornings. I read my bible. I pray. I go to church, and I love worship just as much as ever. I just am missing the fulfillment somewhere. I'm missing the busyness. I am missing conversation with friends. I am missing knowing and being happy with who I am. I feel below mediocre and stir crazy.

I think others sense how I don't know who I am too. I typically introduce myself as Kristina. I feel like Casey Tucker is beyond redneck. Believe me when I say that there is plenty of redneck here in this town without me. However, Zack introduces me as Casey. Therefore, in church I am sure there are all sorts of people completely confused about who I am. "Is she Kristina or is she Casey? Her last name is Tucker- that Zack Tucker is her husband. At least he seems stable and normal." Nothing like seeming like a liar in church. Oh and then there is the signing my name. I always signed "Kristina Fox" because that is who I was legally. These days I am legally "Kristina Tucker" The lesson I learned: pay attention when you sign your last name. You don't want to curse out the nice cashier.

Oh, identity crisis. I'll figure this out. Let's please let it be sooner rather than later. Until then, I'm going to go bake a banana pudding pie and then go work out.

Saying "I Do" as Creatively as I Could

On December 10th I married the love of my life. With that has come a move, lots and lots of changes, and quite a new/different version of Casey. I am determined that there will be many posts about that in the future though. For now, I want to share the things I did for my wedding to make it uniquely us.

My own Hair and Makeup

After debate (internal to me and external as well) I decided to do my own hair and makeup. This turned out to be perfect. I went to the Mac makeup counter at the mall and had them help with what colors would look good on me and they showed me how to properly apply it. After that, I practiced a day on my own to make sure that I could re-create the look. I was comfortable there, so I did it myself the day of. As for my hair- it is a curly mess. In my 21 years with it, I have figured out how to tame it and keep it under control. There was a hairdresser who tried to talk me into having it professionally done, but I knew I was most comfortable doing it myself, so that is what I stuck with.

Seeing One Another before the Ceremony

I come from a HUGE family, divorced parents, lots of grandparents, etc. I knew that there were family shots that we would want to have, and we really didn't want people to have to wait for us at the reception. Because of this, Zack and I decided to see one another before the wedding. This picture was when I finally made it down the aisle and into his arms. This was a very special moment for the two of us. It gave us a time to quietly and privately come before God and pray and dedicate "our day" to Him. No questions about it- I am so glad we broke the whole the-groom-shouldn't-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding superstition.

This is that huge family I was talking about!

We grabbed this shot after the ceremony. We had everyone,that means all extended family on both sides, stay for a big group shot. It was a little bit difficult, but I love the shot in the end!

Of course I brought my knitting with me for the down-time. I was so glad to have a minute to relax in the way that I know best :)

The Wedding Party after the Ceremony

We had the best wedding party ever. Made up of close friends and siblings, I could not have asked for more special people to share our day with us.

Sign Our Quilt

This is sure to be a blog post in the future, but I did make a guest quilt in addition to our traditional guestbook. This was in the entryway as everyone entered for the reception.

Coffee Bar

I am a coffee's number one fan. It is how I made it through the 6 months between our engagement and the wedding. It is definitely not a good habit of mine, but I love it so much. It turns a tired, groggy Casey into the extroverted, crazy, fast-talking gal that I am. Therefore, it was only fitting that we had a coffee bar at the wedding :)

Centerpieces

3 different glass bottles spray painted white, a single (wholesale bought) red rose placed in each vase, borrowed mirrors and greenery selected from friend's yards... all together for total cost about $100 for 20 tables! That is about $5 a table. I absolutely love the way they turned out!

However, I don't want to look at goo-be-gone or white spray paint for a very long time.

First Dance

For our first dance as husband and wife, Zack and I danced to "I Love" but Tom T. Hall. Neither one of us are big dancers, and I honestly dislike dancing. Dancing with my husband on a quiet night not in front of tons of people is fine. Dancing as a focal point of the reception was horrifying to me. However, for whatever reason, I felt like this was something that we had to do, so we did it our way. We picked a funny song, practiced a time or two and planned this dip for the end. Also, the cowboy boots- not originally planned for the day, but as the wedding day was approaching, I realized that I had not broken in my shoes nearly enough. I wore my nicer shoes during the wedding, but by the end of the ceremony my feet were throbbing. I changed into my boots and was so much more comfortable. I am so glad that I changed into them. I'm sure they became a memory for my guests and I was just so glad to be comfortable.

The Wedding Favors: Recipe Cards

I LOVE to cook. And, well, I like to eat for that matter too. It took a while to stumble upon this idea and then to type them up and finalize them. However, thanks to Google Images, Microsoft Publisher, and free downloadable fonts, these babies were created in only a few hours. Finished up with some raffia and candy canes the final cost for these was only $40 total. Affordable, one-of-a-kind, and very appreciated by the guests. My favorite part is hearing back from people saying that they tried one of the recipes and that they loved it!

The Wedding Shawl

I went back and forth on knitting a wedding shawl for myself for the wedding. With 6 months for knitting and not loving lacework, I just didn't know that it was a great idea. However, after some encouragement from a friend, I went for it, and I am so glad. I love everything about my shawl. I wore an elbow-length veil for the ceremony, but I knew that I did not want to leave it on for the reception. However, I hate my arms. Yes, what a womanly, low self-esteem thing to say. But whatever. I loved having my shawl for a little more coverage. And really, what a precious heirloom.



For those of you who are not UGA Dawg fans, the Georgia chant or call of the dawgs is "Go Dawgs! Sic 'em! Woof, woof, woof!" As we were walking out of the reception, we were surprised by our friends chanting a rousing rendition yelling "Go Tuckers! Get Some! Woof, woof woof!" While slightly embarrassing and insinuating a little much for good classy taste, it was such a funny surprise and the perfect way to walk out to our mini honey-moon :)

The Truck

Zack and I chose to leave in his truck. We are pretty informal people and we just knew that getting a limo wasn't our style. That being said, I was not leaving in his dirty truck. I told him to get the truck professionally cleaned and we would leave in our style. His wonderful friends decorated it, and this candid shot happened. I love it!

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed the little things that made our wedding so special to me!

All photographs were taken by Mark Parsons. He was truly wonderful through the entire event, captured so many amazing pictures, and just truly did an amazing job. I would recommend him to anyone looking for a wedding photographer! http://www.markparsonsphotography.com/